Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why her and not me”? Have you ever asked God, “Did you forget about me”? Have you ever hesitated to celebrate the accomplishments of other women because it made you feel bad about where you are in life? If you answered “yes” to any of the above, keep reading.
I first want to say that you are not alone. I have spoken to and coached many women who share these struggles and I have myself been guilty of thinking counterproductive thoughts and comparing myself to others in the past. That is why I have spent years speaking and writing about this topic because I know that there are many women who still need assistance with overcoming comparison and being confident in their own lives. Social media doesn’t make my job any easier because we now have access to the lives of millions more that we can compare ourselves to. Now, I’m not here to bash social media because I personally think that it can have a positive impact on your life if you use it correctly. However, what I am going to do is help you to embrace your own journey and understand that you are already winning.
“Why her and not me?”
The next time you find yourself thinking anything similar to this, I want you to stop yourself immediately. Nothing good will come from it. The thought alone is an attack on your self-worth and personal journey. But to answer your question, her success and your success are not related. Her success is directly related to her life, her purpose, her prayers, her actions, and her destiny. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. She is winning because she prepared and positioned herself to win. She is winning because it is her turn to. Her winning does not mean that you’re losing. You’re winning too, but you can’t see it because you’re too busy comparing. If another woman is achieving something you want to achieve, what you should really be asking is “What can I do to win like that too?” Use her success as inspiration and confirmation that it is possible for you too instead of devaluing yourself because she accomplished it before you did. Spending time feeling sorry for yourself because you see others doing what you want to do won’t get you any closer to reaching your goals. Instead of comparing and questioning why that person is receiving the blessings you want to receive, ask yourself what you can do to position yourself to receive those blessings too. I can’t stress enough the importance of making yourself responsible for your own happiness and success. Never again question how or why someone else is experiencing something that you’re not. Instead, determine what you need to be doing on a daily basis to manifest your own winning experiences. Worrying about her won’t stop her from winning and it won’t move you closer to making your dreams a reality. Use your time and energy more wisely.
“God, did you forget about me?”
The fact that you woke up this morning answers that question. No sis, God did not forget about you. And if you would open your eyes to the signs he is sending you about your life and find gratitude in what’s going right in your life, you would see that even more clearly. You’re likely asking God if He forgot about you because you are comparing where you are to where your friends, family members, or even complete strangers are. You’re looking at what others your age have or where others who have been working as long as you have are in comparison to what you have and where you are. Stop that right now. In my book, She Wins: The Ultimate Guide for Women to Gain a Winning Mindset and Lead a Winning Lifestyle, I share that, “I stopped comparing myself to other women once I came to understand that comparing my life to someone else’s is like comparing apples and oranges. There is not another soul on this Earth who has walked in the same shoes, on the same path, at the same time as me. My journey is unique and can never be fairly compared.” Despite what you see on the surface, you don’t know what had to happen behind-the-scenes for others to get to where they are today. Your life, like everyone else’s, has purpose. You will experience certain trials, delays, challenges, and obstacles to move you closer to your divine destiny. Simply put, you won’t get what others get when they get it because it’s either not your time yet or something much better than you can imagine is being prepared for you. Be patient, trust the process, and embrace your own journey. Even when you feel forgotten about, trust that as long as you’re still breathing, God still loves you, wants the best for you, and has amazing plans for you.
Celebrate her wins like your own.
Do you believe that you will reap what you sow and attract the energy you put out? If so, you should understand the importance of making the choice to prioritize what’s right over how you feel. If you struggle with celebrating other women’s blessings, you are blocking your own. Imagine how you want to be celebrated when you reach your next big goal and experience that major breakthrough you’ve been praying for. Now, compare that to how you celebrate other women. If it doesn’t match, make adjustments where needed. You can not and will not attract what you are unwilling to give. Many like to say, “God knows my heart”. Well, that includes knowing if your heart is filled with envy and jealousy. Envy and jealousy won’t be rewarded or elevated and until you remove it, you are sabotaging your own success. Get into the practice of wanting for other women what you want for yourself and treating others the way you want to be treated. Find joy in others happiness and you will find that you will start attracting more of your own. Hold yourself accountable for being and doing your best even when your flesh tries to rationalize behaving less than. With each step you take to defeat your own worst enemy inside of you, the closer you’ll get to becoming the kind of woman who deserves to rise higher and win bigger.
When will you win? There is breath in your body so you are winning right now. When will you win bigger? When you make the choice to stop comparing, focus on your own personal development, be grateful for what you currently have, and give off more of the energy that you want to attract. If you need more assistance with getting focused, finding your purpose, staying motivated, overcoming jealousy and other limiting beliefs/feelings, or getting your life back on track, schedule your Empowerment Coaching Session here. My book, She Wins: The Ultimate Guide for Women to Gain a Winning Mindset and Lead a Winning Lifestyle also provides plenty of tips and strategies to get in and stay in a a winning mindset. Order your copy here.