Can I be honest for a minute? I mean, totally and brutally honest? Recently, I had to ask myself if I still believe in the power of women uniting. I know that sounds odd coming from someone who has spent the last 4 years of her life preaching and teaching about the power women have when we support each other and work together, but it is my truth. I hesitated to share this because the last thing I want to do is encourage any beliefs that women can’t get along or genuinely support one another because that is not the truth. The truth is that all women can, but not every woman wants to or is ready to. I’ve found that as my purpose moves me into more spaces with more women, I have to keep Proverbs 4:23 in mind.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
I recently had to do a heart check to release everything I’ve picked up along the way that has caused me to lose some of my passion and knocked me out of alignment with my purpose. The truth is that on this mission to unite, support, and empower women, I have been heartbroken and disappointed by some of the very women I aim to support and serve. Let me be clear that I am not talking about my Women By Choice sisters as they have been a blessing. I’m also not talking about any of the amazing women I’ve connected with who have been kind, assisted me to manifest my visions, and/or provided me with amazing opportunities. I’m talking about dishonest and disrespectful women I’ve encountered at events and within the “women empowerment circle”. I take it personally, maybe too personally, when I see those who claim to empower women misrepresent their true intentions, misuse their power, and mistreat those who trust them. While they are tearing women apart and encouraging division, I am working overtime to bring women together. We are not the same. These experiences have been hard on my heart – so hard that I reached a place where something that was once my passion started to feel like a chore. I fell out of love with women empowerment and even began to question if I was wasting my time trying to encourage women to work and win together.
That was until I reminded myself of the words I so confidently and passionately shared when I first started…. “You can’t let a few bad apples spoil the bunch.” It’s alarming how easy it is to allow a few bad experiences dictate how you treat all of your relationships and define your life. When I took a step back to look at the entire picture and saw how small those few negative experiences were in comparison to all of the positive experiences I’ve had with other women, it really put things into perspective. My Women By Choice sisters have shown me time and time again that kind, loyal, trustworthy, and genuinely supportive women do exist. Women I’ve connected and collaborated with like Brittany Garth, Ardre Orie, Shonda Brown White, Sierra Rainge-Jones, Chelsea Smith, Channell Royal, Janet Mingo, Antoinette Jackson, Ronda Brunson, Stacye Jones, Nastassja Dean, Chamar Logan, Corine Marie Tindell, Ebony Cattouse Stewart, Meshon Chase, Natalie Louis, Princess Lomax, Shema Lyons, Tonya Ware, Juanita Coley, Yolande Myers, Viola Vantise, Shellon Johnson, Patrice Harrison, and so many more are constant reminders that we are undoubtedly and undeniably more powerful when we choose to unite and work together.
The enemy’s job is to make you doubt yourself and question if doing what’s right is worth your time. Even with a ton of good experiences to appreciate, all it takes is one bad experience to alter how you see yourself and others. I share my truth to encourage you to avoid allowing a few disappointing and painful moments impact everything that you do. Please do yourself a favor and don’t sabotage your present and future because you’re continuously carrying hurt from your past. Don’t let the enemy win. When in doubt, be reminded of Galatians 6:9.
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
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