Have you ever seen someone accomplish something and immediately felt like you were failing or doing something wrong because you hadn’t accomplished it yet? Yeah, me too. Admittedly, several times. I really disliked feeling like that so I decided to change it. If there’s one lesson life has taught me, it’s that I have the power to control my emotions and change how I feel about things. If I don’t like something, I no longer sit in it or settle for it. I start exploring where those feelings are stemming from and determine what adjustments I need to make mentally, physically, and/or spiritually to not feel like that anymore.
I am an over-achiever. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the best at everything that I do. My ultimate goal in life is to reach my full potential. I always want to be confident that I am maximizing my opportunities and doing the best with what I have. With that being said, I don’t like to lose, fail, or fall behind. But, who does? Well, seeing others accomplish things I hadn’t yet made me feel like I was failing and falling behind. Allowing myself to stay in those feelings was damaging to my confidence and discouraging to my spirit. I can’t begin to tell you how much happier and productive I am to now that I’ve evolved past that season and learned the lessons that came with it. Here are the steps I took to overcome those feelings:
- I got clear about who I am and what my purpose is. Once you are clear about who you are and what your purpose is, it will help you to focus more on doing things that are in alignment with your highest good and fulfilling your purpose instead of trying to compete with or keep up with others. Once you understand that you are here for a specific reason and to use your unique gifts to impact a certain group of people, you’ll stop feeling like you need to do everything and be liked by everybody. You will embrace your journey more and trust that what’s meant for you will not miss you.
- I wrote down my goals, the things I need to achieve to feel fulfilled and happy in my life. By defining success and happiness for myself and making my goals plain, it helped me to see that I don’t even want to accomplish everything I see others accomplishing. I realized that I don’t want what everyone wants or has. This allowed me to stop feeling like I was failing in my life because another woman was winning in hers. I can easily celebrate others accomplishing their goals without feeling inadequate because I am clear about what my goals are and what I need to do to achieve them.
- I took responsibility for my life. In the cases when I see someone achieving something that I do want to achieve, I get real with myself about why I haven’t achieved it yet. Sometimes that means admitting that I haven’t tried hard enough or haven’t attempted to accomplish it at all. Sometimes that means acknowledging that I have been dealt a different set of cards that haven’t allowed me to accomplish it yet. Whatever the reason, I always make the choice to ignore feelings of inadequacy and immediately start shifting my mind and actions to put myself in position to get what I want. You are responsible for your success or lack thereof. Feeling sorry for yourself or getting upset when you see others doing things you feel like you should be doing won’t move you forward. Being self-aware and remaining focused on your self-improvement will take you much further.
For more tips and strategies for gaining and maintaining a winning mindset, get your copy of my book, She Wins: The Ultimate Guide for Women to Gain a Winning Mindset and Lead a Winning Lifestyle.
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