There are certain things in life that you won't be able to control no matter how well you plan, how nice you are, or how hard you work. Once I came to terms with this fact, I decided that it was necessary for me to schedule time daily to focus on things that I have complete control over. A few of those things are my self-esteem, self-care, and self-improvement. For a number of years, I searched outside of myself for others to make me feel good about myself, validate my worth, and support me to become the best version of myself. That was until I realized that I am fully capable of giving all of that and more to myself. These days, I am the happiest and healthiest I have been in a long time because I have taken full responsibility for my own happiness and success. I have very little expectations of others to encourage and motivate me to be healthy, whole, and well because I recognize that many people are still trying to get their own lives together. So, I stopped looking for other people to save me and decided to save myself.
Although I have big goals that I can't possibly reach without the assistance of others, I have daily goals that only require my attention, discipline, and action. I can reach these goals without anyone else's motivation, support, or presence. Here's how I win every day, no matter what others think, do, or say:
- I meditate and pray. No matter how busy I am or what's going on in my life, I take time every morning to meditate and pray. During this time, typically 30-45 minutes, I reflect on where I am in life, how far I've come, and where I aim to go. I release any negative thoughts and feelings. I talk to my Creator about the desires of my heart and express what I'm currently feeling. I let out my frustrations and anything on my chest that has been burdening me. I also express what I'm grateful and thankful for. In this moment, I am reminded of who and Whose I am, as well as where my blessings come from. Prayer also gives me the faith and strength needed to conquer any challenges I may face throughout the day.
- I journal. It's way too easy to get into a cycle of continuously focusing on what you don't have, which results in constantly feeling discouraged and dissatisfied, so I write daily in my journal what I'm grateful for and what I want to see manifest in my life. My daily goal is to be intentional about keeping my thoughts positive, as well as make sure that I am always operating from a spirit of gratitude. Writing positive affirmations and what I'm appreciative of reinforces my determination to do the best I can with what I have to create my best possible life. It also helps me to see how blessed, favored, and resilient I am. This action, which takes approximately 15 minutes, sets the tone for my entire day and fuels me to go after everything I want. Not to mention, keeping my thoughts positive ensures that I will be much more likely to attract positive people and opportunities.
- I exercise. I keep my self-esteem high by taking care of myself and repeatedly showing myself that I am worthy and strong. Exercising is therapeutic for me. It's time that I have to focus solely on getting to know my body better. I take pride in watching my body transform into a better version knowing that I am the only one responsible for making it happen. I get excited every time I push past the limits I once placed on myself. I enjoy the benefits of treating my body well and the confidence I feel when I look in the mirror. Each time I complete a workout, especially on the days when I didn't feel up to it, is a win for me. Once I realized that the foods I consume and how well my body feels impacts my thinking, mobility, energy, and self-esteem, I decided that taking care of my body is mandatory. The better I treat myself, the better life seems to treat me.
- I read/listen to things that inspire and motivate me. Sometimes the closest people to me don't have the words, knowledge, or wisdom to keep me inspired, motivated, and moving forward. Sometimes, I feel stuck because I've gone as far as I can with the knowledge that I have. To solve that, I take at least an hour every day to feed my mind and spirit something that is going to keep me going on days when I feel like giving up and give me the knowledge I need to keep leveling up. Whenever I feel like I'm failing or not doing as well as I know I can, I don't blame others, I seek more knowledge and wisdom.
Over the years, one thing has become very clear to me... how I feel about myself and my life is completely up to me. I am responsible for my peace of mind and confidence level. I am responsible for my health and happiness. I am responsible for learning what I need to learn and doing what I need to do to win. There's a lot of things in life that I have no control over and can't change, but there's quite a few things that I can do daily to ensure my growth, satisfaction, and progression. It used to bother me when I would encounter people who don't like, accept, or support me, but it bothers me much less now that I've learned ways to love myself and win on my own terms every day.
For more tips and strategies for gaining and maintaining a winning mindset, get your copy of my book, She Wins: The Ultimate Guide for Women to Gain a Winning Mindset and Lead a Winning Lifestyle.
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